April 28, 2009

Feeling a little lost

Hi ladies,

I've not updated my blog for a little while. To be entirely honest with all of you, I'm feeling a little lost. At the moment I'm floating from one day to the next in the hopes that I will remember to breath. I need to vent, to write, but once again too many people read my blog and assumptions will be made about whether I'm happy or not. And I am, happy.... I just feel lost?! Does that make sense. Maybe it's my hormones playing havock. Maybe it's the fact that I really don't feel all that safe or comfortable in my home, it's still such a disaster area, and we are 3 and a half months post baby birth, and I still don't have a nursery, or one complete room to live in, over a year later. Could be that I really haven't had maternity leave, when you own your own business you just don't get that privilage. I just don't have the strength to do anything other than exist. The only thing that gives me true joy at the moment is my son.

So there you have it, perhaps I have confused you more than I've confused me... but that's how I feel. Totally and utterly lost!

5 comments:

Natalie said...

I'm sorry to hear that you feeling down :-(

Hope things get back to normal quickly...

And remember having a child is a HUGE adjustment - so it could prob very well be your hormones...

xxx

Mandy said...

Nix

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I cannot tell you that it is normal because I don't have a real live baby. I think you have been doing so well without thew maternity leave and I admire you for tearing yourself away each day. I really hope your home will get finished soon and that you will some of your old self coming back. Having a child changes your whole life and it can take quite some time to take it all in and adjust in your new role of MOM. Will be thinking of you. Hope you feel better soon. And yes, it is possible to feel miserable and happy at the same time. That what makes us different as humans, and especially as women.

Evelyn said...

I'm sorry you are feeling so down Nix. I dont have advice for you, but I can lend my ear and my shoulder when you need it!

Hope you have a better day tomorrow

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

TjoppieM said...

Hallo you!

Shame man, i am sorry you are having so much crap at the moment. I can just imagine that you are having a tough time, beause maternity leave is very important. I am working from home, which is still only like 1/2 the work and I HATE it, so I can imagine how you must feel!!!

I think you need some ZEN time. Come to EL and come stay with me. :-)

Thinking of you and hoping things get better! I am just a call away so please dont hesitate! DAY OR NIGHT!!!!!

OH AND WHAT A GORGEOUS SON YOU DO HAVE!!! More pics please!!!

Paula said...

Ai shame man. I would frankly be surprised if you felt completely 100 % in those circs. I sometimes feel a little lost and my house is intact and I am on 4 months' ML. Good luck! xoxo