December 09, 2009

J's Time For a Rant

So Jahni did a post on stupid things people ask, pop over to her blog to see her top three, http://lifestartshere-jahni.blogspot.com

Here are mine;

1) See what happens when you're 'naughty', babies are born: Well no, actually we weren't 'naughty', our son was planned, and took months of horrid tablets, dildo cams, being a human pin cushion, catheters being stuck into my uterus and loads of tears. But while we're on the topic, why don't you tell me what position you used to conceive, where it happened, if you enjoyed it...

2) Oh so he was early, and tiny, why do you think that is?: I planned it! Just for kicks I thought I'd wake up 4 weeks before my due date, at 1:30am and will my water to break. He was so small because I ate a special diet of dog food and lettuce leaves throughout my whole pregnancy just so that I could have a small baby. I mean really people, anybody with some common sense and even poor eyesight can see I am a petite woman. 2 + 2 really does = 4 here, there is no way my body could've possible carried a baby heavier than 3kgs, even my Dr said so!

3) So when can we expect number 2? When I'm right and ready! When are you going to develop some tact?

And a bonus...

4) Natural birth? Wasn't it sore? No, it was like prancing through a field of daisies on a warm summers afternoon. I especially like the part where his head came out.

4 comments:

Hope852 said...

hehe - I love it girl!!

Martie xxx said...

FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Loving it BIIIG time!

Zeu said...

You gotta laugh! :D

Megan said...

I just loved this post,so so funny, thanx nix, gave me a great laugh, just what i needed for today